Have You Earned Their Listening?

Earned their what?
Their listening. Audiences will not listen to you just because you’re standing in front of a room. Did you listen to your English teachers or Social Studies teachers just because they were there? Of course not. The ones you listened to were the ones who earned your listening. Adults may be more politically correct than kids and give you the impression that they’re listening—but unless you’ve earned it, they’re tuned out.

How do you “earn their listening”? First, let’s talk about how you don’t. Just in any conversation, whether with one or one thousand people, you lose their listening when you start out talking about yourself. They don’t care about you. Not yet. You have to earn that. Begin by entering their world and showing them that you understand them. That you respect them. When people are acknowledged, they’re all ears.

You lose their listening if you don’t persuade them that they will benefit from something you have to say. My daughter comes home every day telling me “school was boring.” I don’t doubt it. Wasn’t it boring when you went, too? Her teachers are not enrolling the kids in the benefits of learning about fungi or Ancient Rome. You must convince them that they’ll gain from listening to you. If you fail at this, you’ve lost them for good.

You lose their listening if you’re not speaking their language. Literally. Know the industry lingo. When talking with kids, know that it’s “50 Cent” not “50 Cents.” You’ll lose their listening really fast if the language isn’t right. A particular pet peeve of mine is grammatical correctness. I cannot tell you how many “professional speakers” don’t speak correct English. They lose my listening the instant they mix up “me” with “I.” Read a grammar book if you’re unsure. You’ll never graduate to the highly educated audience (where income and opportunities exist) if you continually say, “They went to the meeting with Roger and myself,” or “He was so much better than me at selling.”

You’ll lose their listening if you don’t tell them why you are up there. What education have you had? What are your credentials? I think we all know this. But here’s the news: if someone introduces you, you still must tell us why we should listen to you. The best method is to tell us a story that explains what brought you to the front of the room. Perhaps it’s a before and after story; or a story of an “aha” moment that changed everything. I don’t know anyone who won’t listen to a good story. Do you really want to wow them? Then you MUST (what’s the word?) MUST tell them why you’re doing this over any other career/job in the world. What about this compels you? Gets you up in the morning? What’s in it for you? Why are you so passionate?

And, of course, you lose their listening if you don’t know that. If you have no passion for your subject. It will show itself in your monotone voice, flat facial expressions, slow movements, “ums” and reading notes. If the subject you’re speaking about isn’t worth your energy…it certainly isn’t worth theirs!

I teach my clients and audiences how to “earn their listening” from the very first moment they step on stage, and, of course, how to keep it throughout. There are many more elements to this process that are subtle and absolutely essential. If you don’t get the results you want from speaking in public; if you don’t get the reactions and the word of mouth and the sales, check in to see how you “lost their listening.” Did you start out talking about yourself? Fail to enroll them in the benefits of listening to you? Did you speak “below” or “above” their heads? Give data instead of a story?

Don’t worry. There’s always a next time.
Make sure of it. If you want your business to grow…get in the room with your prospects!! It’s the best marketing strategy around.